Bobo the Chimp Funny Status Messages

   I wear my glasses to the liquor store in an effort to appear responsible.

   All dogs go to heaven. All cats go to purr-gatory.

   "What have I done?!! Everybody run!!" -Inventor of the boomerang

   The ice cream man has been turning his music off on our block since the day we paid with a protein-crusted sock full of corroded pennies.

   I hate that disapproving look George Washington is giving me on the $1 bill. As if to say "You're making bad choices."

   To prevent addiction, candy companies are forced to insert the yellow ones.

   My million dollar idea: "Homework-flavored" dog food.

   I bet the origin to the phrase, "When the sh!t hits the fan," is one heck of a story.

   I've never seen Scarface, but I have quoted the "little friend" line at some really inappropriate times.

   When someone tells me smoking is harmful, I throw my cigarette down and say "Serious? There, I've just quit! Quick let's go warn the others!

   I guess I'll pick up my dog's poop this time since you're having a yardsale and all.

   If you say your grandpa is looking down at you and smiling I'm just going to assume you also have one of those mean drunken roof grandpas.

   If the g-string is any indicator, the g-spot is somewhere near the anus.

   I have a doctor's note to excuse the rotten stench I leave in people's bathrooms.

   I only speak to telemarketers when they refer to me as 'Your Highness' and if they keep taking off a piece of clothing every 30 seconds.

   Does homeowner's insurance cover Kool-Aid Man damage?

   just spent 30 minutes entering ridiculous symptoms into WebMD and it diagnosed me as having no life and being immature. Pshhh!