Bill Funny Status Messages

   Monday sure is an awful way to spend 1/7th of our life......

   FYI Nic Cage, If you keep telling police to arrest you, eventually they will do it....Hope the judge throws a book at him, you know one that has good scripts & acting tips in it!

   Clearly - Tiger Woods is getting laid again......

   News Flash: Bears in Yosemite rejoicing over possible government shutdown.

   Happy Government Shutdown Day everyone!!

   The Cavs win twice, the Tribe sweeps Boston, the Heat lose and LeBron's mom gets arrested. You can't deny that KARMA Cleveland.......

   Obama re-election: Beyond 'Hope' and 'Change' ... Now its 'Poverty and Debt'........

   Travel Tip: Don't fly on Southwest, unless you like your airplanes with sunroofs........

   Neighbor not a radioactive zombie. Btw, completely unrelated, but any ideas for an "I'm sorry" gift for someone in hospital.......

   I'm saving my April fools joke for tomorrow. No one will see them coming...... ; )

   I poured milk on my Cheerios this morning and they turned into Fruit Loops......But hey, there is no need for concern : )

   Reminder: National Atheist's Day April 1st.......

   Sorry friends......But from the advice of my lawyer, it's in my best interest not to try out Facebook's new 'Questions' feature tonight : (

   (_̅_̲̲̲̲̲̅̅̅̅̅̅̅_̅__̅_̅_̅()~~~ passs it!!!

   Why is Obama so interested in "liberating" Libya anyways, is he planning a vacation there?

   Why is President Obama out of the country and on vacation when this Charlie Sheen thing is still playing out?

   Party like a rockstar is no longer acceptable. You party like Charlie Sheen, or you don't party at all !

   Supermoon is awesome!!! Oh wait, that's a streetlight.....

   France, once again, takes up the fight in the defense of freedom and liberty.....

   ‎ So, did France like lose at rock, paper, scissors or something? I mean France?