@gnarleycharley Funny Status Messages

   running around the house with a wrapping paper tube saying “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

   Santa must think my name is Cole.......

   at the DMV....I guess there on the honor system...I'm 3 inches taller and I just lost 65lb's.

   feels great today....yesterday to combat the Tryptophan drowsiness he marinated his turkey in red-bull!

   regretting his decision to celebrate hump day by getting a camel tattooed on his big toe!

   Dear Face Book you keep offering up people for me to friend, but then you get all  concerned and ask me how I know them.  You can't be the pimp and the cop!

   Hey Europe just because you call your bathing suit a racing brief doesn't mean you don't look like a man wearing panties!

   Halloween costume idea #27 Ronald McDonald outfit, suit jacket, and Red Wig comb over…Ronald McDonald Trump!

   Don't wash your car on Friday……It always rains satellites when you wash your car.

   found out the hard way that his company doesn't celebrate National Speedo day...

   likes to sell things to guys with fake hair just so he can say, "How are you going Toupée?"

   you would think Mrs Brady would have got her crabs from Sam The Butcher...

   chugging scalding Hot Lava just to cool off....

   I'm having a royal wedding watching party...drinking beer out of tea cups.  Pinkies up....chug chug chug

   wonders if  regular squirrels get mad at their parents  when they see a flying squirrel?

   I realize you are trying to protect a very expensive Jacket….But Mothballs STINK!!!! Who's the Genius that thought Storing anything in balls of chemical pesticide would be a good idea?

   looking for this guy named Lent...everybody keeps giving him things that I'm gonna need for my Charlie Sheen Holloween costume...

   do not go to Jareds...he's creepy.   He had no diamonds....just a huge pair of jeans that smelled like sandwiches and folds and folds of SKIN!

   celebrating Elvis style tonight....putting on his cape and bringing extra scarves for the ladies.

   thought Brett Farve was done throwing TD passes to Greenbay Packers....does last nights touchdowns count towards his Packer stats?