father OR dad Funny Status Messages

   It's Father's Day not FARTHERS DAY Ladies

   When I want the entire beach to myself on Father's Day, I wear a Speedo.

   Happy Father's Day to all the real Dad's.... Sit down deadbeats we celebrate you on April Fool's Day...

   The vending machine gave me an extra bag of Skittles today, hope my Dad loves his Father's Day gift.

   Ivanka Trump is writing a new book called "Women Who Work: Rewriting The Rules Of Success." Rule number 1 is having a wealthy, powerful father.

   kid climbed into the Gorilla exhibit because the Gorilla looked like his jigaboo father

   I have to be careful with my kids when I talk about the death of their father. It's a sensitive subject and I don't want them warning him.

   Father's Day must be the most confusing day in the ghetto.

   Huge spoiler here....... Dave is actually NOT the real father of Alvin, Simon, and Theodore. I know, right?!?!?

   "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been..." "Ma'am, please just vote and exit the booth!

   "Luke, I am your father." - Darth Vader, after Luke won the lottery.

   Taking care of your drunk friends inadvertently prepares you to be a father or mother.

   Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been 35 years since my last confession, and I only ended up here because I thought it was the bathroom...Amen

   A lot of people don't realize that Shania Twain's father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer.

   Women are too sensitive. She said she was having twins and I said, "At least you'll finally have 2 kids by the same father."

   If you look in the mirror & say Candyman 3 times, my father will appear & tell you that you're getting fat.

   Father's Day....the most confusing day in the ghetto.

   Well I guess Caitlyn Jenner missed out on both Mother and Father's Day this year....

   Happy Father's Day, God!

   Happy Father's Day, Bruce Jenner!