Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Obviously stupidity is much more contagious than Covid19

   For a year numbered 2020, it's amazing how blind some folks can be.

   Dr. Fauci said we must limit stores to 10 looters at a time.

   🎶 ...No mask on your face You big disgrace Spreadin' your germs all over the place... 🎶

   I’m convinced that Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars are made by Dyson.

   I'm almost to the point of thinking that the only thing that can unite us is a Netflix show about a gay zoo owner, with a platinum blonde mullet.

   Leaders who have hidden in a bunker and gassed their own citizens include Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler and Donald Trump. 

   Remember when the dumbest thing Trump had ever said was COVFEFE... good times ...

   I can't believe it's riot season already. I still have my COVID19 decorations up.

   I've come to the conclusion that my Alexa is just another pet by how often I have to tell her no every day.

   Will the last person to leave NY remember to bring a pizza?

   You know. The world would be a happier place if everyone had the same sense of humor as the guy who named his supermarket chain Piggly Wiggly.

   I broke up with my girlfriend. She has leprosy and I got tired of picking up after her.

   Q. What's in the toilet of the USS Enterprise? A. The Captain's log.

   Dems are more upset at Trump for walking to St. John’s church than they are at looters for trying to burn it down.

   Does anyone know if they have early morning looting hours for us seniors?

   My paperless origami business folded.

   The wife asked me to sell my Hall and Oates collection. I said I can’t go for that, no can do.

   All the major casinos are complaining about how much money they’ve lost. Now they know how we feel!!

   The only thing worse than not getting a joke, is being offended by one.