KIsstopher Funny Status Messages

   At least this apocalypse and rapture debacle has conclusively proven one significant fact: We are not alone! We have idiots living among us!

   Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools and idiots are on the same side.

   If you actually believe in this Doomsday & Rapture nonsense...Please gracefully delete yourself from my friend's list...Coz I am allergic to retards and idiots.

   I think all women who say, "All men are Jerks" mean to say, "All the men I chose to date are jerks" or put simply, "I am attracted to jerks"

   Your girlfriend is Rated E for "EVERYONE"

   If sex is the food of love then masturbation must be the snacks between meals.

   We all have that ONE person we would gladly take back in a second...No matter how much bullsh*t they put us through and hurt us in the past.

   Ladies remember: Being honest and direct doesn't make you a B*tch. It makes you the Realest B*tch no-one dares to mess with.

   Every woman has that ONE guy she will never lose feelings for, even if she gets married to another.

   I am never shocked or surprised when someone I trust and love backstabs or betrays me. Even the Devil was once an angel. Even Judas was once a loyal disciple.

   To those who worry about haters I say: You will never reach your DESTINATION if you keep stopping to throw stones at every dog that barks at you.

   If it was up to me, Pregnancy test would only have 2 cool results; PINK - You are screwed & BLUE - Keep on screwing.

   Its not me, its you. I just don't think it's going to work between us. You're boring, tasteless, and I can't stop cheating on you. I know you're my right choice, but we can't continue! TO: DIET FROM: ME

   Love is a sacred thing meant just for two. But there's always that one slut who doesn't know how to count.

   Shout out to all the moms who spent their whole Mother's Day thinking and worrying, "If this dummy ever asks for a paternity test, I can kiss the good life goodbye”

   If you really want something, you will find a way. If you don't, you will find an excuse.

   Today the rest of you women don't matter til' Monday...and when Tuesday rolls around a couple of you still won't matter.

   Life can be like a prick, Sometimes it gets hard for no apparent reason.

   Don't be Jealous of Me... If you had to walk a mile in my shoes you'd probably need year of therapy.

   If you are dreaming of being on the same level with me, you better wake up and apologize!