KIsstopher Funny Status Messages

   Love is much more interesting when you have a DIRTY mind.

   ME: "I wasn't that drunk!" MY FRIEND: “Dude, you asked your girlfriend if she was single.”

   I felt special… until I saw you talk to every other guy like that.

   Every girl wants to be the one that makes a player quit the game. But sometimes that's like being the zebra that wants to turn a lion into a vegetarian.

   So, I'm single again, this time with no intentions of looking for another girl, this time I'm letting her find me.

   No you are not an independant woman... You are just an adult. Having a car, paying yo bills, paying rent is part of adult life

   Finally...a woman who can make me smile without taking her clothes off.

   I don't love with my heart...I love with my imagination.

   Why is it that whenever I wish someone a happy birthday they always assume Facebook reminded me? Do you ever think maybe just maybe I care that much to remember the day you were born.

   Whats with people who reach facebook maximum friends limit and have to open another account to accommodate more new friends? Are you really that popular or you are just a slut?

   What's the difference between a liar and a cheater? Nothing, they're practically brothers!

   Problem is people confuse LOVE with BUSINESS. If you are with her because she gives the best BJs and she is with you because you pay all her bills then thats not a LOVE affair, that's just a BUSINESS arrangement.

   Pregnancy Test: The magic wand that can make a man disappear.

   When will women ever learn? Never post pictures of yourself and your hotter friend posing together. Especially when she has bigger boobs than you. It will only make you invisible and insignificant.

   Excuse me guys, help here. What does it mean if the husband of a woman you have been flirting with on Facebook sends you a friend request? Am I in trouble? Should I be worried?

   I think you are funny. My girlfriend thinks you are hot, all of a sudden you not so funny anymore

   Teach me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand.

   My plan to discombobulate people with big words has failed egregiously.

   I got on Facebook to look up long lost friends. It's true what they say, that it's best to let sleeping dogs lie

   Your first mistake was leaving me. Your second mistake was thinking I would die without you.