santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   I'm sitting here wrapping Christmas presents with one hand. If any of you find a Band-aid in your gift, don't touch it.. I'm still waiting on the test results.

   Warning! If you get a link that says "Justin Barber sings Christmas carols" Don't open it! It's Justin Barber singing Christmas carols.

   Santa put down the pen! I can explain everything!

   I am the reason why Santa has a naughty list.

   The White House hosted its annual Hanukkah party and everything was going great until Biden pulled on a rabbi's beard and said, "You're not Santa."

   Dear Santa, I was good at being NAUGHTY. Does that count for anything?

   Let me get this straight; a fat man who breaks and enters into my home, who steals all my Christmas cookies, is the one who judges if I'm naughty or nice?

   Due to the extreme coal shortage, Santa will be giving out Justin Bieber cds to all the bad kids this year.

   I wish Santa would just dump 100ft of coal around Biden and Nancy Pelosi's house.

   Oh! Oh! Oh!" ~Dyslexic Santa

   Santa, you break into people's houses and eat their cookies; don't judge me.

   Every year, my Christmas list begins with "Dear Santa, my sisters did it. But I have been very good this year, because I'm an angel!

   I sure hope you like your Christmas gift... It's a year's supply of me!

   Dear Santa: For Christmas this year I want a fat bank account and a slim body with sexy abs, but let's not get it mixed up like you did last year.

   Got Christmas card glitter all over me and now I can't stop stripping.

   Don't laugh at adults that still believe in Santa Clause, we have adults that still believe in Joe's build back better.

   I am the reason Santa has a naughty list.

   Santa, you must be the bravest man around. Who else would let a bunch of deer pull them around in a sleigh during deer season?

   Dear Santa! I want a fat bank account and a sexy body with rock hard abs for Christmas. Let's not get those two mixed up like you did last year.

   Tomorrow is December 1st.... The time when it’s totally fine to put Peppermint Schnapps in your coffee every morning now till Christmas Eve!