mm Funny Status Messages

   Some guy asked me why scuba divers always fall backwards into the water. I told him if they fell forwards they would still be in the boat.

   Thanks to the words "dude", "bro", and "man", I haven't said my best friends name in 10 years.

   It's funny when a Athiest needs a prayer they will ask for one. But when a Christian asks for one, they will be the first to make fun.

   I enjoy walking in a convenience store and having the cashier ask if I got gas. “No…just a little indigestion!”

   I'm glad McDonald's doesn't sell hotdogs. I'd feel really awkward ordering a McWeiner, and don't even get me started on Super Size.

   This summer everyone should wear sunscreen, so the person next to you won't get sunburned.

   They're called "Heated Seats" because "Rear Defroster" was already taken.

   Happy MILK day...!

   All these people on my list, and not none of ya talking to me... This is kinda awkward. I feel weird now..

   I can't stand little kids, I know I was once one. But seriously can't stand them...

   i got addicted to nicotine gum..now I smoke trying to kick the habbit...

   wishes Brett would just go away. Favre, Favre away.

   can't get this nicorette stuff lit.

   Jesus saves... He must shop at Wall*Mart...