equaloppjoker Funny Status Messages

   just because I don't have a girlfriend doesn't mean I'm all alone, I have food and internet!

   If cockroaches can survive nuclear war and chemical warfare, then I want to know what is in a can of RAID?

   water is the leading cause of drowning...

   i cant stop drinking the coffee. If I stop drinking the coffee then I stop doing the standing and the walking and the words putting into sentence doings.

   Somebody is out there, somewhere, thinking of the impact you've made in their life. It's not me. I think your an idiot.

   I like the sound you make when you shut up

   I haven't lost all of my marbles but there is definitely a hole in the bag.

   I didn't say you were stupid, I said that "i see a pole and body glitter in your future"

   my ex warned me that I would never find a girl like her again....THANK GOD!

   only two people with the combined IQ of a salad bar would name a kid NorthWest

   oh, your talking to me again? You must have just broken up with your boyfriend.

   When you wake up at 3am for no reason, there is an 80% chance that someone is staring at you...

   You might have a million dollar body, but you got a food stamp face!

   There are two kinds of people in this world, and I don't like them.

   I feel a spree coming on... Now its up to you.... Shopping or Killing?

   it doesn't matter if you don't like my personality... I have several more!

   i like that you try to compete with me. At least you have a goal...unrealistic and unatainable, but at least its a goal!

   I'm only stalking you cause I know you have an extra burger in that Mcdonalds bag.

   I'm running out of reasons not to stab you.

   Stop saying that I'm hard to shop for. Surely you know where the Liquor store is....