ef Funny Status Messages

   What this generation of young men need to realize is that the word "Man" is in Manners....

   Neil Armstrong was the first "Human Being" to step foot on the moon. Did you know that Neil A. backwards spells "Alien"

   Dear Santa: This year I would like a "Bailout and a Bonus."..."Yes, I know I have been really bad, spent my money frivolously ,even did some illegal things and therefore I think I deserve it."----The Government

   I ''unfriend" you on Facebook when your Birthday Reminder comes up and I realize I don't interact with you ever....

   Okay can we only go through one day of Mandela jokes instead of the 3 days of Paul Walker????? Thanks!

   I gave my wife a couple of credit cards and now my credit score is lower than the speed limit

   You ever notice that the people with the most insecurities are the loudest?

   I don't care how the future pans out, any amazon delivery from now on is referred to as a drone strike.

   You call the shots. I'll drink them.

   My girlfriend wants to get married. I hope she finds someone nice.

   Parenting gets a lot harder when you can no longer say "I'm calling Santa!"

   Okay, I am getting really irritated. This is the 5th ATM I've been to today that's had "insufficient funds".

   Okay, I am getting really irritated. This is the 5th ATM I've been today that's had "insufficient funds".

   The "thank you wave" you receive after letting someone merge their car in front of yours is the only thing holding this fragile society together

   I just hid my teenage son's Christmas gifts behind the vacuum, in the dishwasher and next to the trash can that needs to be taken out.....guaranteed he will never find them!

   Women are always complaing that men are messy by leaving clothes layin around.....That's because women take up all the closets

   Dudes should not ''poke'' other Dudes on Facebook!

   You kids complain about everthing.....You want to know how bad I had it? I'm so old the "Diaper Man" used to come to our house to take the sh#tty diapers away and bring back "clean ones" that really some other kid had sh it in!

   I make my coffee so strong it wakes the neighbors up....

   Thanksgiving is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self centered lives already in progress.