bryan j brown Funny Status Messages

   I bet people in jail don't use scented body wash...Cuz the last thing you want is some dude rolling up on you talking bout, "Sniff sniff...You smell like Cherry Fruit Passion".....

   I think its unfair that men and women are not treated equally...It just seems wrong that women can show a lil boobie and get out of a speeding ticket but when I show a lil ball I get arrested...It just aint right

   Cant wait till "National Balls Cancer Awareness Month" so I can confuse you ladies and talk about my cravings...

   I miss the metal slides that would give you 3rd degree burns on a hot summers day...Goodtimes!!

   these kids today are lucky they have the soft plastic jungle-gyms with straw padding the ground..Instead of those broken down wooden death traps we had too play on as kids with that soft cement to break your fall...

   Its sad that at a certain point some peoples promises just start too sound like Charlie Brown's Teacher..."Wah wah wah wah wah wah"

   Hell no I don't use a Loofah in the shower....I use a Man-Sponge!!...There's a difference lol

   Sometimes if I get scared at night..I just tell myself there are no such things as ghost only clumsy ninjas....

   You would think old people would drive a lil faster...I mean its not like they have alot of time to waste..Right?

   You know if I was the ruler of my own country and I thought the people were gonna revolt against me...I would probably give them free rice krispies treats...Cuz aint no way you could stay mad at someone whose giving you free rice krispies treats...

   If your girlfriend spend most of her free time watching "Law and Order" "CSI" "The First 48" "Dexter" and "Snapped"...Do yourself a big favor and go buy her flowers...

   They truly don't make movies like they use too...When I was a kid movies had values, morals and ethics...And without these great movies how would I have ever known that I "Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead"...

   The lil bro said he heard a noise in his closet so he wanted me too do a monster check just to make sure...So I did even tho I tried to explain that if the monster is in the closet hes probably not that scary...maybe a lil glittery...but not scary

   I think I need a catch phrase after sex...Something like "You've just been blessed!!" or "And now you know...And knowing is half the battle!!" or my personal favorite "Shazaam!!"

   They say Hard times don't last forever...So someone might wanna tell Hard times that :/

   As a guy I think you can learn so much by listening to two women talk to each other..Unless they are talking about periods then you just need to excuse yourself...Cuz some mysteries should remain unsolved...

   Now I heard women have like a sixth sense to tell what a guy is thinking about..And I wanna see if its true...So what am I thinking abou tright now??...(. )( .)...Give up??

   Wait a min..she aint had a job in 2 years..And she had 10 lawyers?? Public Defender my ass...I guess its a good thing she wasnt a black girl named Peaches..Cuz she would have been Sh*t out of Luck...

   Can yall imagine what Thanksgiving is going to be like in the Anthony home this year...AWKWARD!!

   I miss the bottle rocket wars we use to have as a kid...Oh and too my boy "One Eyed Willy" thank you for taking one for the team all those years ago...What you lack in depth perception you make up with heart...