Prince Shawn Funny Status Messages

   never sleeps next to anything that he wouldn't want to wake up next to.

   I love make up sex. Especially with Katy Perry. I make up sex with her all the time.

   Want to make a good first impression on a guy? Ask questions about him, seem interested, listen, giggle and swallow.

   it is so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.

   fights so dirty, he has never had makeup sex. It usually violates the restraining order.

   goes to strip clubs for the wings, used to read playboy for the articles and checks out your pictures because you have great taste in clothes.

   had an affair with a teacher once. Made sweet music in the band room, poetry during English class and you don't even want to know what we did in the multipurpose room.

   can't think of anytime to put as a status right now. If you could write my status for me, what would you put?

   some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.

   not single; is just waiting for his girlfriend to quit playing hide and seek.

   nature runs a restaurant called Karma. It's a place where there is no need to place any order. You are automatically served what you deserve.

   hasn't done laundry in 5 months and isn't wearing any underwear right now, just a big sock. and I do mean a BIG sock.

   a girl called me once and said come over, nobody is home! I went there and she was right, nobody was home

   does things the Chicago way - He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue!

   once you learn how to be happy, you won't tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less.

   a relationship between two person should be like the relationship between the hand and the eye. If the hand gets hurt, the eye cries, and if the eye cries, the hand wipes its tear.

   if someone tells you it is the inside that counts, that usually means the person they are talking about should stay inside their house.

   has an easy solution for anyone who hasn't been laid in a long time - conjugal visits.

   jealousy is an ugly color on you... and while I am at it, so are tangerine, teal and turquoise.

   too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful and too determined to be defeated.