MM Funny Status Messages

   What's with everyone calling it "Holiday decorations" back in my day, we called it a little something like Christmas.

   Well, the people outside are frightful. And the traffic, is far from delightful. (blocking the intersection) since they got no place to go. people blow people blow people blow...

   Saw a guy in a Prius run out of gas... instead of giving him a ride,I sent him positive energy & world peace cause that means more to him.

   I can't wait to have make up sex... I've been arguing with myself all day.

   Why do atheist celebrate Christmas? Just stop it! You are making yourself look bad.

   The best gift of all, is freedom and health. Merry Christmas

   Don't you love that moment when you're cutting wrapping paper and the scissors start to glide.

   I wonder how much it cost to pay off Michigans referees

   Haha I can see it now "pot stamps" for people that can't afford to buy their pot.

   Today is nation Sloth day, it should of been yesterday, but they didn't get around to it.

   Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves...?

   So does the voice that gives us the weather warnings have a name??

   Some guy asked me why scuba divers always fall backwards into the water. I told him if they fell forwards they would still be in the boat.

   Thanks to the words "dude", "bro", and "man", I haven't said my best friends name in 10 years.

   It's funny when a Athiest needs a prayer they will ask for one. But when a Christian asks for one, they will be the first to make fun.

   I enjoy walking in a convenience store and having the cashier ask if I got gas. “No…just a little indigestion!”

   I'm glad McDonald's doesn't sell hotdogs. I'd feel really awkward ordering a McWeiner, and don't even get me started on Super Size.

   This summer everyone should wear sunscreen, so the person next to you won't get sunburned.

   They're called "Heated Seats" because "Rear Defroster" was already taken.

   Happy MILK day...!