JMartin Funny Status Messages

   The ultimate home security system is just having crappy stuff.

   People that wear sunglasses inside, have to.......because it's always sunny in Doucheville.

   I'm the most responsible person I know. Whenever anything goes wrong, I'm responsible.

   Grammar died so that Facebook could live.

   If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

   Do you think I'm AWESOME? (a) Yes (b) a (c) b

   I once dated a guy named Dave who hated to be called David. Then, I dated a guy named John, who really hated to be called David.

   Dyslexic zombies crave Brians.

   Worried cause I heard a beep and didn't know if it was my cell, ipod, Wii, Skype, Facebook, email, Twitter or TV but it was just my fire alarm. Phew!

   I hate it when a co-worker offers to make themselves “perfectly clear” but then I can still see them…and hear them.

   Sometimes when I'm bored, I bounce my boobs on the jfdslkhdjkhkjdvvgffdzbsldk;/ffdlskn\/njvglnxlk\cz/\/sl/\sn