FLIPPHONESCOTT Funny Status Messages

   somedays I could do without the life lesson!

   When you realize winter is still 5 week away!

   When you realize Charles Manson is getting more play than you!

   Math quiz! If I have 1 boss and she has 4 personalities. How much should I spend on her x-mas present ?

   Super creepy Rob Lowe and I are going to kick Rob Lowes ass

   still have not used all the free hours from my AOL start up disk

   Getting over body issues is a like getting over a fear of heights. The trick is not to look down.

   Come on ‪#‎Chevy‬ just one commercial break without Kid Rock

   My bucket list: 4 drumsticks, 2 thighs, 2 mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits. Extra crispy

   my dinner taste like lazyness and the day before payday!

   if you had to use a treadmill to re charge your cell phone we would all be health nuts!

   yes I have a dirty mind, and you are in it…

   Call me old school, but cigarettes should not have USB ports

   I must not be real stupid, television has not made me famous yet!

   2,4,6,8 Wichita is not a state!

   We all have a drawer by the sink filled with junk. Can you please check your drawer for a Boeing 777

   thats the last time I buy Sushi from the dollar store!

   Ok mother nature we beat the snow record now there's no need to run the score up!

   How the heck are eggs full of cholesterol but chickens aren't?

   I love it when my computer says ” are you sure you want to continue unprotected “