Eddy Funny Status Messages

   what do you call it when a cow is sitting down? ... ground beef

   Making love is like baking a cake...most men don't know how to work the stove

   I read Marie Kondo's book about tidying up...now I'm getting a divorce

   excuses are like farts.... anyone can make them but nobody likes them

   what do you call a group of short people on a merry-go-round? ...a midget spinner

   new drinking game...every time a member of congress coughs, take a drink

   idk who "go round" is but all the kids on the playground want to marry her

   every summer people try to work on their "summer body" ...i've been working on my winter body for years

   if your PC gets a virus from a porn site, is that a STD for computers?

   people worry about their "summer body" but I've been working on my "winter weight" for years

   people talk about working on their "summer body" but I've been working on my winter body for years

   people who work at Amazon fulfillment centers should put their job status as "professional boxer"

   every toddler is just a mini version of Jack Skellington... "what's this, what's this"

   my dr says to eat a piece of meat no bigger than the palm of my hand...good thing the Big Mac is stacked

   If you puncture a hole in a garbage bag in order to roll down your window, you might be a redneck

   I collect memes like kids collect Pokemon cards. any good memes you want to trade?

   first we need a "space force" then later on, there isn't alien activity at area 51

   someone needs to make a cereal that's in the shape of little cows...when you add the milk, you're milking the cows

   if you have to use a snapchat filter for over half of your Facebook pictures, you know you're ugly

   spoiler alert...tonight HBO dies