Destiny Funny Status Messages

   Hey, Don't blame me, I voted for the white dude!

   Just found out that if you bake ice cream it does NOT make ice cream cake

   I'm pretty Fry for a Rice guy.

   ‎90 people have swine flu(H1N1), and everyone wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS and nobody wants to wear a condom

   If politicians are the answer, then it must have been a damn stupid question

   Whoever said 'Laughter is a medicine with no side effects' obviously never pee'd themselves from laughing

   I refuse to jump on the 'I hate Mondays' bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally

   whiskey: the official beverage of the FML

   Going clubbing. ok, it's just to Sam's Club, but I'm trying to make it more glam.

   Ohhh! who lives in the kitchen, chained to the sink? Sponge mom sweatpants!

   doing laundry. nothing says "I love you" like clean underwear.

   The "b" in the word "subtle" sure is dumb.

   If someone throws a stone at you...Throw a flower at them,,just make sure its still in the pot ;p

   umm I don't consider that a one night stand... That was a audition..

   If you have to wake me up to ask to borrow something, the answer is hell no.

   "The hardest part of the business is minding your own."

   just seen two homeless people kissing so I screamed "Get a box!!"

   if you wanna be old and wise, you gotta be young and stupid..