Monday Funny Status Messages

   My favorite holiday is, National Egg Salad Lunch Monday. . .

   A perfect Monday night: 7 pm -- Ahh yes Chinese food!!! 7:15 pm -- I'm so full. 7:30 pm -- Ahh yes leftover Chinese food!!!

   Has your credid card ever been frozen due to suspicious behaviour? "Let's go over your recent transaction history...it seems like you have been to a lot of bars lately." F*ck, don't judge my Monday nights....

   We got an extra day this year. Why did it have to be a Monday?

   Instead of celebrating Valentine's Day this year my wife and I will be celebrating... "Discount chocolate ovedose Monday....."

   Monday mornings: I am learning to trust the journey, wait a sec...where is my freaking coffee?!?!

   FACT: I prefer Dairy Queen Blizzards than hearing you constantly complain about how Monday's suck.

   Even my dinner tasted like Monday

   always a man drinking a Crush on a Monday.....never a man crush Monday

   You know you a hood rat when you can't participate in Black Friday because yo government check ain't in until Monday. .

   Poverty is not being able to participate in Black Friday because you don't get paid until Monday.

   Monday's don't suck... Your life does

   Monday's aren't bad.. You just hate your job

   Monday... that better not be your ugly ass I see peeking around the corner!

   If the range of decrease in Blood Alcohol Content is 10-20 mg% per hour. I should be able to drive my car next Monday.

   -Monday -Tuesday -Wednesday -Thursday -Blink -Monday.

   My Man Crush Monday is: Obama. I hope a rock falls, and crushes his head.

   Osha should be required to shut the Men's office bathrooms down the Monday and Tuesday after Easter

   This has been the worst Monday since last Monday.

   Celebrating "Thank-The-Lord-That-Stupid-Brown-Thursday-Black-Friday-Cyber-Monday-Marketing-Crap-Is-Over" Tuesday.