Doc Noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon not interested in a girl? tell her you're going through a horrific vesectomy process & you're really concentrating on that right now.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 00:58 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing like a mug full of caffeine and self-hatred topped with an overwhelming amount of regret to start your day.
←Rate | 11-03-2011 00:07 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon always a groomsmen, never sober
←Rate | 11-02-2011 18:17 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Which is worse news this AM, Justin Beiber might have a love child or Herman Cain's believes China doesn't have nukes?
←Rate | 11-02-2011 08:48 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dont know what Is more amazing, that this girl thought she was Justin Beibers first, or the miracle of one girl knocking up another girl.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 08:25 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, Take note of the plot of Sleeping Beauty: My sexual advances on you while you sleep, I'm a keeper... still single
←Rate | 11-02-2011 00:50 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon 80% of the time, I hate my life... the other 20% of the time i'm unconscious.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 00:49 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a girl calls you by the wrong name, that's just spontaneous role-play, right?
←Rate | 11-02-2011 00:09 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Melissa Etheridge is single, with four kids by two different chicks. Sounds like someone is ready for the NBA.
←Rate | 10-31-2011 20:43 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim Kardashian requests her privacy during this time. Just her, an E! camera crew & 30 black dudes dragging their sacks across her face.
←Rate | 10-31-2011 19:59 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel like I should apologize to my shower drain.
←Rate | 10-31-2011 19:53 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon ok but i'm out of cialis so you have to wear the boba fett mask
←Rate | 10-31-2011 19:50 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon it weird that one of my nuts is bigger than the other two?
←Rate | 10-31-2011 19:50 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon The power went out, so I'm taking my shower by LED flashlight, just like they did in the olden days.
←Rate | 10-31-2011 19:49 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I weigh, I don't know...74317.965555 pats of butter.
←Rate | 10-31-2011 19:43 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex with me is like Sex with an optometrist: better like this, or better like this, How about this, or like this. Better here or here.
←Rate | 10-29-2011 21:54 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Meanwhile, on the east coast, thousands of children are changing their costume from pirate to snowboarder.
←Rate | 10-29-2011 20:14 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't want anyone to feed my ego. I just want someone to put it in their mouth and do tongue tricks with it.
←Rate | 10-29-2011 20:09 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wasn't very creative as a kid. I never had any imaginary friends growing up and neither did any of my friends from planet BeelaBoop.
←Rate | 10-29-2011 18:52 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have this medical condition that makes me pee in a hot tub as soon as I get in it.
←Rate | 10-29-2011 18:52 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  




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