KIsstopher Funny Status Messages

   There are two types of people I hate in this world: Nosey people AND people who won't tell me what the hell is going on in their lives.

   Always be thankful for another day of life because you never know when it's gonna be your last.

   Some guys mess up and lose a good woman because they are so used to dealing with sluts that they have forgotten what it takes to keep a real woman.

   You know you're fat when you run out of breath eating.

   Blaming others for your misfortune can ruin your health -- which you'll probably just blame on somebody else too.

   I hate when somebody claims they are mad at you but won't tell you why.

   Sow a thought, reap an act. Sow an act, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny!

   She asked me how to spell slut. So I helped her spell her name.

   Be the girl that all the guys want. Not the girl all the guys HAD.

   How are you gonna dress like a ho, talk like a ho, walk like a ho, act like a ho, and then get mad when you are approached like a ho, addressed like a ho and treated like a ho? Silly ho.

   If 10 minutes after sex, the man is not hungry and the woman is not passed out, temporarily paralyzed, then somebody didn't do their job right.

   Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian might be the first time in history that the roles have been reversed and a ball player has trapped a hoe.

   Some girls date bad boys because they think they can 'fix them'. Stop it, he is not a broken car and you are not a mechanic.

   Officer, I'm not Fred Flintstone, I didn't "run" a red light, I drove through it.

   Guy's Remember : While You're Sitting There All Day Playing Call Of Duty , Your Girl Is Calling Someone Else To Come And Do Your Duty .

   Fellas: No woman will bother going after your heart if all you talk about is how fat your bank account is and how big your d*ck is. You sell what you advertise.

   Don't stare at me. Because then I have to stare back at you and, why make me suffer?

   I think things did not work out between us because we both loved the same person; I loved you and you loved yourself.

   Ghetto Word Of The Day: DELIGHT Usage: She gotta big ass but her face is trash so when we do it I gotta turnoff delight.

   Don't be pushed around by your problems; be led by your courage.