Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   the enemy of my enemy is my enemy in law

   Cat scratch covid fever!

   When are we gonna snap on these blakk cokksuckers?

   Don’t let anyone else ruin your day. It’s YOUR day, ruin it yourself.

   I'm starting to worry that I can't stab someone in front of a cop without getting shot

   Why can't the women on Price is Right wear thongs and a bikini top? The dudes go topless at times...

   Where was that joke Al sharpton and his crews masks at? And who was they praying to? I'm positive it was the God everyone else believes in!

   I would love to see things your way, but I'm not sure if I can stick my head that far up my butt.

   Progress is finally beginning to be made in this country. If you don't like it then leave!

   Guilty, on all three counts!!! Let the complaining and crying begin! I have my popcorn ready.

   What is it with the color, black, that makes you think of hard-core violence?

   I don't like the term An@l Bleaching. I prefer "Changing your Ring Tone."

   Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine

   Inuendo - what else, but an Italian name for Preparation H.

   Magic Johnson wasted the best porn star name ever

   Sometimes, when I haven't had sex for a while, I like to go jogging in flip flops so I remember the sound.

   I could never cheat in a relationship, cuz that would require two women to find ne attractive.

   The bad thing about political jokes is sometimes they get elected. . .

   Some fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time..." Others begin with "If elected, I promise..."

   How Dawn clean ducks but not my spaghetti bowl??