StonerDudee Funny Status Messages

   I know! I'll go on the Internet and complain! That'll fix everything!

   I get carried away sometimes... Usually because I refuse to leave.

   Facebook does NOT need a dislike button. It's just gonna start more drama.

   When I get mad at my parents I dont slam the door or yell "I HATE YOU!" I just go in my room and rapidly flick the light switch. Yeeaah raise the light bill : D

   If the sea was weed and I was I a duck, I'd swim my way down and smoke my way up...buy the seas not weed and I'm not a duck so pass me that bong and STFU

   I'm at the doctor's office & they don't know why I have this rash on my balls. Guess I'll wait for the Dr, these other patients are clueless.

   A friend of mine told me he had sex with his girlfriend and her twin, I asked how he could tell them apart, and he said her brother has a mustache.

   I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it though.

   Whenever someone spells something wrong, I always look to see if the two letters are close on the keyboard.

   They should invent an alarm clock that if you hit the snooze button more than 3 times it automatically calls in sick for you.

   When I die, I want a cellphone in my coffin...just in case

   Just imagine how fast church would go if Busta Rhymes was the preacher

   One man's face is another man's lunch.

   I put the 'me' in camouflage; you just don't see it.

   A woman's heart is just as dumb as a guy's d*ck.

   They say 1 in 4 men is homosexual. So there must be one in my group of friends. I hope its David he's super cute.

   Hey, to whoever invented the zero: Thanks for nothing!

   Everyone makes mistakes, accept for me.

   Life was much simpler when we could play a friendly game of Red Rover and just clothesline the people we didn't like.

   Why is weed illegal and alcohol isn't? Weed is completely harmless man! Smh