anonymous Funny Status Messages

   a Jedi. Obviously.

   having zero tolerance for the lactose intolerant

   may not be Fred Flintstone but I can still make your bedrock

   leaving your mouth with a great clean feeling

   rejecting your reality and substituting his own.

   "an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, nestled in a sesame seed bun of mystery."

   a Figment of your imagination

   having trouble watering the plastic plants

   "the kid next door's, imaginary friend"

   fed up of talking about himself in the 3rd person. Stupid (name)!

   just not that into you.

   legally dead for tax purposes

   "sniffing glue, going to the zoo, gonna free all the kangaroos. Suck it Dr. Seuss!"

   laying in the road dressed as a deer

   thinking so what if Jesus turned water into wine... I turned a whole student loan into beer once. your move Jesus.

   pulling up his pants..and saying no to crack

   naked and playing twister with the cat .

   letting you know your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory

   If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

   your perfect drug