Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 219 of 6452

They say I have a preoccupation with revenge. We’ll just see about that.
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05-22-2022 03:40
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Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven whilst I slumber in yon bedchamber.
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05-22-2022 03:40
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Last night my girlfriend was complaining that I never listen to her… or something like that.
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05-22-2022 03:39
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I though brothels were only legal in Nevada, but I feel like I’m getting *ucked every time I get gas.
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05-21-2022 23:29
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I wish I had the time click like 135 times on my posts.
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05-21-2022 10:14
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Don't worry if you lost money on crypto currency.. Just hoard baby formula and you'll make it all back
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05-21-2022 07:52
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Monkeypox is pronounced with the “k” silent.
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05-21-2022 03:39
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Went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.
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05-21-2022 03:39
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Failed math so many times at school, I can’t even count.
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05-21-2022 03:38
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Was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.
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05-21-2022 03:38
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If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
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05-21-2022 03:37
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Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
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05-21-2022 03:36
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It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.
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05-21-2022 03:36
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Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.
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05-21-2022 03:35
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Two fish are in a tank. One says, ‘How do you drive this thing?’
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05-21-2022 03:35
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Women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
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05-21-2022 03:34
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Home Schooling question: Does having your kid fix you mixed drinks count as chemistry?
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05-20-2022 19:43
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Recent studies have shown that dogs don't actually have a fear of fireworks. Their reactions are based on their being upset at not being able to shoot off their own.
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05-20-2022 16:51 by Fazzy
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Showing too much cleavage makes you look like an ass.
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05-20-2022 15:57
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In the US, we call it "Alt Right" In Germany, the call it, "Why grandpapa lives in Argentina"