Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Stock trading secret: Pick a stock that you know is going to go up and buy a lot of it. Then watch the price go up every day until it gets as high as it's going to get. Then sell it all before it goes back down.

   There are only two genders, male and female. The rest are mental disorders.

   Just checking, I heard a loud pop and thought you may have pulled your head out of your a$$.

   Have you ever rubbed your eyes so hard that you enter in, to some other dimension of swirls and patterns?

   The same people who are candy to our eyes can be poison to our hearts. Study their ingredients before feeding them to your soul.

   Reach ~ as high as you can, and then a little higher. There you will find magic and possibility… and maybe even cookies.

   The Poet: Why do you write? he asked. So, I can take my love for you and give it to the world, I reply. Because you won’t take it from me.

   Have you ever been so mad that you were calm?

   LGBTQ: Liquor, Guns, Bacon, Tits and Quicksand.

   Love ~ Giving someone the power to destroy you and trusting them not to.

   Hangry ~ A state of anger caused by lack of food.

   I think I finally found a diet that's really working for me! That's called The Rsing Cost Of Food.

   SELLING MY CAR FOR GAS MONEY .... INQUIRE WITHIN

   The War on Drugs only resulted in more drugs. The War on Terrorists only resulted in more terrorists. Maybe we should have a war on Baby Formula.

   Those who are capable of tyranny are capable of perjury to sustain it.

   All of us: Ministry of “truth”, inflation, supreme court leak, border crisis, war. Mainstream Media: “Johnny Depp vs Amber Heard.”

   Dear leftists, you just spent the last two years fighting against the concept of body autonomy, take it down a notch.

   the FBI going to raid the house of the reporter who published the Alito opinion? Or is that just reserved for the reporters who got Ashley Biden’s diary.

   My mortgage identifies as a student loan.

   How can you stand for woman’s rights while allowing men to dominate woman’s sports?