love Funny Status Messages

   For the next week, out of great love and respect, I'm calling my willy Wonka.

   Love how Disney movies teach you that you can be anyone you want, as long as it's a princess.

   Love Halloween, seeing all the monsters and the scary imagery. Then I turn off the campaign ads and wait for the trick-or-treaters.

   Couple beside me in the restaurant are on a blind date; they both love dogs, sushi, and looking at Tinder while the other one is in the restroom.

   Just ate a cheese stick wrapped in salami that I bought from 7-11 but I still feel like I deserve God's love.

   I can't imagine anyone let alone the B-52's walked outta the Love Shack STD free.

   Love waking up to the sound of birds arguing with their spouses.

   "From Russia with Love." -Donald Trump's New Campaign Slogan

   Love to collect call people randomly, just to remind them that that is somehow still a thing.

   The Story Of Milk: Good milk. Bad milk. Disgusting milk. Dangerous milk. Cheese! I love a happy ending.

   School gets out at 2:15 pm so if you don't get in the pickup line by 1:00 you don't love your kid.

   "We don't like any of this! Wait, we LOVE this thing here!" -The Internet

   Me: I sure do Love watching the Olympic Girls Volleyball Games because they are So Talented. Wife: Yea Right

   I love the summer because I love how my ass and thighs form an irreparable bond with the car's scorching hot leather seat

   Love kickboxing and think there should be kick versions of more sports, like kickbowling and kickbadminton.

   On a date and my credit card got declined. Her credit card got declined too. Then I knew I was in love.

   Love hot yoga because it's over 100 degrees with someone yelling at you. It's like growing up Italian in Florida.

   As you Mature... you learn that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them, hope they panic and give in.

   I'd love to watch Samuel L Jackson and Morgan Freeman get into a heated argument while James Earl Jones tries to stop them.

   Stop checking my Status , Go and love your GF