Funny Status Messages

   Asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.

   Disney announces new 2022 LGBTQ+ clothing line for kids.

   It’s not Musk’s yet: Twitter unveils new censorship tools.

   There is no plan to eliminate student debt. There is a plan to transfer that debt to those that don’t owe it.

   Tesla kicked out of S&P 500’s ESG Index, never saw that coming.

   Woman makes misconduct claim against Elon Musk, like clockwork.

   If Biden is the answer, how stupid is the question?

   The left in charge of every branch of power and the economy is tanking. Biden, I’d like to take a moment to blame the right.

   One of us is right and the other one is you.

   Corn Pop beat Joe Biden with a chain, c’mon man.

   Being sarcastic on a regular basis can add up to three years to your life.

   Audit finds half of Joe Biden’s Twitter followers are fake.

   Might get crazy tonight and go to bed at 10 instead of 9.

   We now have reason to believe Biden ripped the tag off his mattress in 1987.

   Tried to spoon a tall girl once and felt like a backpack.

   If you’re 50+ it’s time to leave them young girls alone and get yourself a woman that recognizes the signs of a stroke.

   Never forget where you came from, because that’s probably where you left your phone.

   Trying to figure out how I spent 15k on chicken nuggets this year.

   The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have now started asking humans to prove they are not a robot.

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