Eddy Funny Status Messages

   just thought of a good prank...if closterphobic friend passes out drunk & about to awaken slip a bag over their head 9with breathing holes) & watch the fun happen when they realize where they are

   today is hump day & leap day...this will be tricky

   no more monkeying around for Davy Jones

   i'd like to get a job at the phone company. they get to choose the phone numbers ppl get. if an ex comes in, give her a number with the last 4 digits spelling WIDE or UGLY & let her be stuck with that number

   you know gas prices are high when they stop the NASCAR race & are waiting for the price to go down before they restart the race

   when a kid says a cussword some parents & babysitters will wash their mouth out with soap....if you type a cussword does that mean you should wash ur hands?

   at the beginning of spongebob the captain guy says "i cant hear you"...the Verizon guy keeps saying "can you hear me now?"....i wonder if the 2 are on the phone together

   i just went to town. these new cars have gps, satellite radio & a thing in the seat to warm your butt....turn signal seems to be optional

   politicians need those burn-proof suits like NASCAR drivers wear....liar liar pants are on fire

   who was the idiot to make umbrellas have metal handles? ..."lets hold this over our heads to keep rain off us & keep us dry but lets put a metal handle on it so we hold metal when we have to keep rain off us during storms"

   why doesnt a car dealer run for office? they lie & cheat the ppl to get our money already

   parents are hypocritical.....your not supposed to take candy or food from strangers but what do they let you do every Halloween? not supposed to talk to strangers but every christmas they sit you on santa's lap so you can talk to him.

   nobody likes a stalker. it's what this chick was saying as I read her lips through my binoculars

   i'm thinking of becoming a gynecologist....i hear there's plenty of openings

   brains are like modems....some people can think fast like they are high speed internet....some ppl are slow thinkers like they are dial-up....other ppl have lost connection

   1 day i'm gonna be telling my kids about payphones, no cell phones or internet & the video games aren't portable....& the kids will think it's a fairy tale

   when the police were doing the chalk outline of Whitney Houston's body, her spirit rose up & tried to snort it

   all that Tebowing didnt even get him into the super bowl

   a parent should never name the kid "Lana"...just in case the kid becomes dyslexic

   biggest lie women tell: be honest, I wont get mad