tsparks Funny Status Messages

   Women may not hit harder.....but they can hit lower

   Attitude like a underwear , don't show it , just wear it.

   Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it

   that sad moment when you return to your ordinary life after watching a awesome movie :(

   I may look calm but in my head I've killed you 3 times

   Pretty excited that the Patriots and the Giants are opening for Madonna at the Superbowl

   Everything seems to be louder, when you dont want anybody to wake up

   Newly divorced woman explaining reason for splitting: We had religious differences - he thought he was God, I didn't.

   You can wake someone who is sleeping but you can't wake up someone pretending to sleep.

   "Babe, is it in?" "Yeah" "Is it hurting?" "Mmhmm" "Let me try to put it in slowly" "Ouch,it still hurts!" "Ok, let's try another shoe size...

   Did you know, That if you yell "bloody Mary" 3 times in front of ur mirror at 3AM ur mom will show up & tell you to shut up and go to bed?

   I'm not a Justin Bieber fan, I don't even like the music. But seriously, I'm sick of all the hating. I don't care how the singer looks like. I'm not defending anyone, but didn't your parents teach you to respect women?

   I hate it when you're with MC Hammer and he doesn't let you touch anything

   Welcome to Facebook! Where liars tell more lies, enemies are Facebook friends, weak people turn into Facebook gangsters, haters complain about haters and every person who talks about money ain't got none.

   why is it that when you fart silent somebody rushes towards you to talk, hugs you, or sits behind you??

   SCARIEST THING EVER: Flushing a toilet & seeing the water coming up instead of going down

   Boy: "Are those space pants? Cause your a** is outta this world" Girl: "No, they are softball pants, & this a** is outta your league

   I respect the person who let girls into the army. Girl on period + gun = unstoppable

   Dear Mom & Dad, when you said- "Let`s go", I assumed you were ready to go also. Sincerely, Been waiting in the car for 20 minutes

   I failed the quiz by 1 point, the last question was " where do most women have curly hair" apparently the correct answer was "Africa"..