ron Funny Status Messages

   May the itch of a thousand crabs affect the one who ruins your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.

   A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?" Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

   There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.

   Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.

   Ah yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

   Religions change; beer and wine remain.

   To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

   Here's what I've learned about dogs: They're a lot like pretty girls. Having one or two around makes everything more fun, but when you get a whole bunch together, it turns into one big power struggle.

   I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do today.

   When a woman marries again, it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.

   I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

   If you dont like me remember its mind over matter, I dont mind and you dont matter!

   I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.

   If you're one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.

   You remind me of my Chinese friend, Ug Lee.

   decided to give up searching his belly button for Lent!

   FACEBOOK is the second most popular word that starts with "F" and ends with "K" ; )

   Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink.

   What's drinking? A mere pause from thinking!

   If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic.