l Funny Status Messages

   God never gives you anything you can't handle and apparently he thinks I can handle a hell of alot.

   I just threw my clothes away and bought my garbage to the laundry mat

   I love when I post a status and someone copy's and pastes its and I get 4 thousand likes and they get two.

   Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

   I'm sweating worse than Patrick Ewing

   "F hash tags and retweets, 140 characters in these streets"

   Excuse me Mr Zimmerman I know this isn't the right time but umm.. Who is that chick that sits behind you to the left?!!

   Thanks to George Zimmerman The great seal of Florida is now burned into my Plasma.

   She's not my girl but I get her to smile

   If there's left overs... You can't cook.

   Too many Hood guys not enough Good guys.

   Today's the perfect day for ribs and Salsa music.

   I ain't talking about Floyd when I say I love May weather.

   Jason Collins needs a bubble bath

   This status is dedicated to all the pretty girls and the ugly ones too cause to me your pretty anyway baby.

   I just bought a Birthday cake. It's not my Birthday, I just wanted cake.

   If I ain't invited to dinner I could care less about what you made!

   My brackets perfect so far, I fill it out after every game.

   Why do I have to add my birthday to your calendar? It's on my page.

   90% of the time I drop my IPhone because I wanna see a picture horizontal.