joseph robert Funny Status Messages

   some of you people are taking the term Fat Tuesday way too seriously

   Just realized that with all this ice lately, technically I'm walking on water too, so take that Jesus!

   I'm glad I have work today. Who wants to celebrate Presidents' Day with this dude in office? In any case, happy bday month to George and Abe. You guys were pretty awesome.

   What's more shocking than finding out Shirley Temple has died? Finding out Shirley Temple was still alive.

   Funny how the russians are so anti gay, yet they got a metal in mens figure skating

   Who had a better Sunday, Phillip Seymour Hoffman or Peyton Manning???

   NOTE: God only takes those He wants.... Justin Beiber and Miley Cyrus will be here FOREVER. For-ev-er.

   I try to live each day like it's my last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry b/c hey, who wants to do laundry on the last day of their lives??

   apparently cyber monday takes on a COMPLETELY different meaning on some websites

   My haiku for the day: Please this is tourture, evaluate your bitstrip, you don't look like that.

   It seems all the girls in my school decided to go as a 21 yr old with low self esteem and daddy issues. Must have been weird for them to all have the same costume on

   Im surprised kids haven't found a way to trick or treat online yet

   Everyone has awesome boobs in their bitstrip

   First 20 mins of my day: I don't wanna get in the shower, I don't wanna get in the shower. Next 20 mins of my day: I don't wanna get out of the shower, I don't wanna get out of the shower...

   On a dark dessert highway, Cool Whip in my hair....

   This Halloween, the only Candy I'm interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues

   Waking up a 6yr old for school is a lot like AOL Online. Its slow, it whines and all progress is easily lost by electronic interference.

   Wow, Lil Wayne's now on Paris Hilton's new song. Those tear drop tattoos should be real tears, Weezy.

   If today drags anymore, it's going to come out of the closet in a sexy little dress

   I have failed to remove all the jellies. I have shamed myself, and my ancestors.