jack Funny Status Messages

   Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal? Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

   Many years ago,Ozzy Osbourne asked me how he could get publicity to help his music career. I told him he needed a bright red hat. He thought I said "bite the head off a bat". And the rest,of course is history.

   WTF It's been 25 something years since Charlie Bucket took over the Chocolate factory,and we are still buying Wonka Bars! I want a damn Bucket Bar! I know wonka picked the wrong kid. Veruca Salt would if had her own bar by know.

   has the feeling I need to do the housework, gonna sit down with a coffee and wait for the feeling to pass

   Don't spend your night watching porn and eating cheese balls

   How do you save justin bieber from drowning? YOU DON'T

   wants a snuggie made out of sham wow material