gay jeffrey Funny Status Messages

   Like and enthusiastically comment on every photo your aunt has posted to facebook. Turn the tables

   "Mrs. Doubtfire" and "The Santa Clause" use the exact same plot formula.

   Mayor Bloomberg is going to outlaw large sodas. Good to know that New York City is officially out of legitimate problems to deal with.

   my "people you may know" is filled with douchebags who deleted me, oh no does this mean I'm the pretentious ahole?

   Turns out trolling LinkedIn for ladies to s3xt with was not such a good id

   I'm not buying that "Oops, I accidentally deleted you" line again sausage fingers.

   f all of your pics are taken from from an overhead angle, I have to presume you have a big hairy mole on the bottom of your chin.

   Damn you hot girls on FaceBook who post "beach day!" pics but 'only share photos with friends'

   Reaching under the couch for something is the closest I'll ever get to yoga

   I wish the cast of Jersey Shore had to compete in the Hunger Games.

   I comb my hair using a fork and start talking about astrology to myself each time I see a Jehovahs Witness walking towards me in a restaurant.

   My legs are so white they signed their kids up for way too many extra-curricular activities.