flipphonescott Funny Status Messages

   pulled my groin playing reindeer games!

   no really what are reindeer games ?

   so is anybody in the bathroom,drinking wine out of a red solo cup, hiding from the family yet?

   ever have a large lunch and go up a cup size?

   CAN I JUST GET A DAMM CUP OF COFFEE?

   OK WHERE CAN I EAT AT AND NOT PISS EVERYBODY OFF?

   Ever watch the tv show 2 broke girls and get jealous of their bank account

   They can quit giving me phone books. Just saying

   I need to stop lying to myself !!! This bag of Reese cups will never make it to Halloween !

   my life coach told me to just let the clock run out!

   i have completed 38 of the 50 shades of grey

   what wine goes with Mood Stabilizers

   Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands!

   I have lots of great personality traits. Or as my doctor calls them, symptoms.

   i think the NFL may be getting close in over hyping the superbowl!

   i knew The Kardashians.we going to screw us up. look what it did too Bruce!!! freaking 0.j.

   I am not real pumped up about the Super Bowl this year! ‪

   FYI 'I'm here so I won't get fined'

   when you Realize that loud sound in the dryer is your cell phone! DAMMIT!!!!!!!!

   my mature level IS , I still giggle when singing about nuts in christmas carols