bridget Funny Status Messages

   A stranger stabs you in the front. A boyfriend stabs you in the heart. An enemy stabs you in the back but real friends don't carry knives.

   Officer says "Gee, Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?

   Americans treat the Constitution the same way they treat the Bible: Despite never having read or understood it, they are quite certain they know both.

   If it squirms it's Biology; if it stinks it's Chemistry; if it doesn't work it's Physics and if you can't understand it, it's Mathematics.

   A neurotic is a person who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the person who lives in it. A psychiatrist is the person who collects the rent.

   We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities. Bill

   Foolishness always results when the tongue outraces the brain.

   If I seduce it, really get it going, then leave it alone for ten minutes,maybe this paper will finish itself.

   You know when you are getting old when, you finally got your head together, now your body is falling apart.