bill Funny Status Messages

   Don't worry, they'll probably get Casey Anthony when she tries to steal back her sports memorabilia...

   Dance like the photo isn't being tagged, love like you've never been unfriended, and tweet like nobody is following....

   Perfect example of living life to the fullest kids...... RIP Ryan Dunn, jackass.

   Fathers Day....the most confusing day in the hood!!!

   City of Dallas just announced tomorrow is Lebron James Day. Everyone gets to leave work 12 minutes early.

   70 years after WW2, and LeBron James has America rooting for the German. SMH, Congratulations Mavericks......

   Weiner's wife is pregnant! Didn't know that was possible on twitter! From now on I'm wearin a condom when I tweet!

   Plaxico Burress is out of jail today... Only a black man would be sent to jail for 2 years for shooting himself...

   Thinking about posting a pic of myself in my underwear in support of my congressman Anthony Weiner........

   Netanyahu's wife needs to give Michelle Obama a tee shirt that reads, "Don't you wish your husband could be a man like mine?"

   rael, I will trade my Obama for your Netanyahu and I will even throw in Joe Biden if you want him........

   Please note: If you're thinking you will be raptured at 6pm, I'm willing to take care of your Farmville operation. I'll just need your facebook log-in and password.......

   Due to public service cutbacks, the Rapture is simply going to be based on Santa's Naughty/Nice List.

   Well, at least we'll get to see the new "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie before the Rapture. Woulda been a shame to miss that one.

   anyone interested in having a Rapture party this weekend?

   Ashton Kutcher to replace Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men. Remaining cast and crew already planning their own "Torpedo of Truth" tour.

   Big shout out to Jason Voorhees! Party at Camp Crystal Lake tonight with a lot of love making....Be there or be square!!

   Rebecca Black - "its friiday, friiday" *Jason Voorhees walks in stabs her in the face and goes home* yeah, Friday the 13th.

   It's Friday the 13th! Want to get lucky?

   I smash mirrors, walk under ladders, spill salt & cross paths with black cats. Be afraid... be very, very afraid, its Friday the 13th!!!