anonymous Funny Status Messages

   Shouldn't the fortune in every fortune cookie be "You are about to eat a stale cookie?"

   When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.

   A much wittier reply came to mind immediately after I clicked the 'Share' button.

   took the "What should you be doing right now" quiz. And the answer is... WORK !

   When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

   spreading some positive molecules

   What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?

   For sale 57" flat screen TV 200 Quid Only defect is the volume button is broke.....For that price you can't turn it down!

   watching paint dry

   has logged out. You missed him by mere minutes

   would give his right arm to be ambidexious

   Bob the builder! can we fix it?!!......no this time we're screwed

   thinking 'if girls had 'mute' buttons!!'

   What if there were no hypothetical questions?

   Asks .... Why dont they make mouse flavoured cat food?

   Give Yourself a Haircut Tip # 1: Don't

   Who decided that a round pizza should be put in a square box?

   always late. My ancestors arrived on the Juneflower for cryin' out loud!

   1) Scroll to the bottom of your Facebook page. 2) On the bottom left corner, click English: US. 3) When the language selection appears, click English: Pirate. 4) watch what happens.

   thinks they need to have a twelve-step help group for compulsive talkers. They would call it On Anon Anon.