Timboss Funny Status Messages

   I'm sorry Febreeze.. I don't believe the commercials where you take the two blindfolded women into a crack house and the kitchen with the decaying meat tray and they smell Yosimte National Park.. :-/

   needs some comfort food.. Oh wait! I ate it already.. :-/

   I just went to that God wants you to know app.. It said, "Nothing" :-/

   I hate when my winks and happy faces are split.. and continued on the next line :-/

   Attention Al Qaeda recruits: Due to recent events, practice on the hand over hand monkeybars will be cancelled indefinitely.

   Dear Osama bin Laden... WINNING! .. Yours truly, Charlie Sheen..

   seeing William and Harry all decked out in their uniforms yesterday.. I kept expecting them to break into that Sondheim tune from "Into The Woods" AGONY!

   The only reason I would want to see Donald Trump elected as president is so we could see what his hair does when he gets off of that big helicopter...

   just caught a glimpse of the supermoon coming from behind the clouds.. It looked like..... the moon!

   People please!! It's not the end of the world. It's just the beginning of a new, glowing, ticking kind of world..

   So what if we find out tha Charlie Sheen has been right all along, and the rest of us have been wrong?

   just turned the news on and they were talking about Justin Beiber getting a haircut. Really? The world is going to hell in a hand basket.. but Justin Beiber got a haircut.. Who gives a rip??

   This just in.. Governor Mary Fallin has just signed legislation naming the penguin as the new State Bird of Oklahoma...

   Sonny Corleone would still be alive today if he'd had a pike pass.

   Due to the politcal climate in America today, all "Target" stores will be changing their names to "Objective"

   I wish I could be as enthusiastic about life as my dog is about the arrival of the mail man..

   just spent my Saturday watching commercials on AMC interupted by 10 minutes segments of movie..

   God made your butt crack up and down because if it were sideways, when you went down a slide it would sound like this bufufufufufufufuublubufubufbufbufbuf

   Back in my day they never shut our school down for snow.. They just moved the school and made us walk further..

   wishes I would have got a new cell phone from Santa this year.. This rotary texting is really a drag.