SKoop Funny Status Messages

   What goes "mhau namih uh bah booh"? A deaf woman when your standing on her foot apparently.

   Every time I go on vacation, my wife gets pregnant. I should take her with me next time.

   I've tried experimenting with drugs. Putting acid in my wife's tea has been the funniest yet.

   I don't wallow in self pity, I drink through it like a real man.

   You take "the" out of psychotherapist.

   Studies show that if you stare at woman's breasts for longer than 5 minutes...You are very likely to get a black eye.

   Teen pregnancy could easily be reduced if clubs had better lighting...

   My girlfriend and I are going through a tough period...Its actually her first...

   Apaprnelty hmoosxeulas aer teh olny oens brililnat ni unscarbmlnig snetneces leki thsi.

   I like to close my eyes when I'm kissing a girl...That way the pepper spray doesn't get into my eyes.

   What's 12 inches and makes women wanna have sex? My hunting knife...

   I told my wife "you're like a drug to me." "Aww because you're addicted to me?" she said. "No because you're ruining my life" I replied

   I learn from the mistakes of others.... Who have taken my advice.

   Guys, If you suck on a fat girls t!tty for more than 10 seconds, you will get type 2 diabetes. Fact

   If you're going to slow down on the freeway whenever you see a cop, try not having the "I have a heroin condom in my butt" look on your face

   I keep my standards low, so you don't have to!

   It's always the ugly girls who are feminists