No Body Funny Status Messages

   Any female who tells you she don't suck d*ck is lying; she just ain't sucking your d*ck.

   I may hate myself in the morning but I'm gonna love you tonight.

   Why are Gay people so sensitive? If you can take a d*ck, surely you can take a joke..

   Ladies; don't judge a man on some sh*t that you heard about his past. If you wasn't in it then it's none of your business.

   Please don't try my patience. I already tried it and it doesn't work.

   She's not a slut, she's just been on more wieners than Heinz ketchup

   " Dude,I wasn't that drunk." "....you gave a mushroom to a midget and kept yelling 'GROW MARIO GROW!'.

   Ladies, easy way to tell if a guy is married? Look into his eyes, if there is any sign of life left, he's single.

   When my phone falls, I panic. When my friend falls, I laugh my a$$ off.

   Too many funerals and not enough graduations. Too many baby showers, not enough weddings.