Michael Askins Funny Status Messages

   you get what you pay for... Nothing proves this more than toilet paper and hookers

   likes being vague, because it's almost as fun as doing this other thing.

   thinks it's tricky when you're ignoring someone and they ask you if you're ignoring them.

   idiot noun \ˈi-dē-ət\ - One who disagrees with me

   wondering if you have multiple personalities and threaten to kill yourself, is it considered a hostage situation?

   wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I'm awesome.

   wants less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.

   You know those packets that come in beef jerky to keep it fresh? I just ate one... And it wasnt half bad..

   thinking of spending the cab money on more shots and just taking the ambulance home

   Word to the wise... Sending an engagement request to your girlfriends facebook is not a good way to propose

   Confucius says: Crowded elevator smell different to midget