MC Fazzerino Funny Status Messages

   The problem with us guys, is that we'd rather go for the hot chick rather than the cool one...

   Great music lives on in perpetuity to those who seek it.

   You had me at, "Hello." You lost me at, "I have a cat."

   The heavier the girl, the more pics of really buff guys go up on her timeline.

   You buy her a gift. She sleeps with you. The similarity here is that the s-e-x is also a gift since both things center on something coming in a box.

   Making home made Pop Tarts. I almost have it down, but getting the filling down to a thickness of 1/1,000,000 of an inch is becoming quite a challenge.

   Not sure which has gone more viral on facebook. Pics of cats, or cups of cappuccino with hearts drawn in the foam.

   I'd like to slip into something more comfortable...you.

   Monday. What a horrible way to start the week.

   I had a nightmare. I was having s-e-x with Paula Dean d0ggie style. I was pulling her hair and she was screaming, "AH CAINT BLEEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER!"

   And if he winds up being a switch hitter..he'll be known as: North Bi North West....well sorta.

   Summer officially checked in at 1:04 am. For Floridians, it also clocked in at 1:04 am. Back in April.

   I just had a bad dream. I went to the Facebook log in screen and it asked if I wanted to sign in using my Myspace account.

   99% of my wardrobe consists of T shirts. This of course got me to thinking....aren't ALL shirts T's? Anyone out there who doesn't have a bilateral symmetry form and is instead shaped like a "W"?

   If everyone has a crack in their a$$, why are so many still full of $hit?

   I hold the NASCAR world record for the number of races never watched. Zero.

   I went to the dentist for a cleaning. After he was done I told him my teeth were still yellow. He said I should wear a brown tie then no one would notice.

   Okay so, last Sunday we all lost an hour. This Sunday, we should all watch NASCAR and lose four.

   We haven't lost an hour, we loaned it to the illusion we call "time". "Time" will pay us back in full at 2am on Sun., Nov 3. This is an interest free loan, and means there are no seconds, minutes, or hours assessed.

   Romney or Obama....Romney or Obama. I'm just now getting the chance to vote. I LOVE living in Florida.