Jen Briggs Funny Status Messages

   "Life is NOT like a box of chocolates, it's more like jar of jalapenos- what you do TODAY can burn your ass TOMORROW!

   It's a new day - a chance to make new friends or piss off a whole new group of people. It could go either way.

   I figured out why I'm so fat! The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my body says "for extra volume and body". I'm going to start using Dawn dish washing soap. It says "dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove".

   Two wrongs may not make a right, but damn, sometimes it sure puts a smile on my face!

   “People will always talk about you. Might as well give them something to talk about.”

   I would like an order of ambition, & a side of focus, and a large coffee. And could you super size that please? It really needs to last for the rest of the day.