Jeff W Funny Status Messages

   Do they sell Alphabet Soup in China?

   Oprah's show on Veganism just inspired me to eat a Cheeseburger.

   Black Friday is America's version of Running with the Bulls!

   Shot my first turkey yesterday....scared the sh!t out of everybody in the frozen food section!

   I shot my first turkey yesterday....scared the crap out of everybody in the frozen food section!

   my daughter saw a picture in a zoo book and said, "Look at this! It's a frickin' elephant!" I took a deep breath, then asked "What did you call it?" "It's a frickin' elephant! It says so on the picture!" And so it does, "A f r I c a n Elephant"

   my Sunday coupons are now bilingual, and it didn't even give me the option to press 1 for English.

   I just played FARKLE against somebody from across the World, and yet we had a mutual friend! My opponent knows Pamela Anderson too!

   There is nothing worse than the feeling of a cushioned toilet seat!

   she didn't think it was as funny when her plans for a Dutch Oven backfired.

   Did you ever notice that all lesbians look like Justin Bieber?

   Pamela Anderson looked so confused on Dancing With The Stars. I don't beleive she has ever danced without a pole before.