J. BIAZA Funny Status Messages

   I need to either get a new air conditioner or move into my refrigerator.

   I graduated with a 4.0 … Blood Alcohol level.

   I always choose Pepsi over Coca-Cola because I prefer my soda dehyphenated.

   You're her boyfriend?! That's cool! I'm her manfriend!

   Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.

   Apparently this is the letter “v” in Chinese: 维 Lets see American geese try to fly in that shape.

   Just had 2 thoughts during my massage. 1.I hope my body is not in an odd position when I die. 2.I don't think I've ever seen a live otter."

   Apparently dyslexia is not a good excuse for driving 53 in a 35.

   Just put my money where my mouth is. Pennies taste disgusting.

   Be careful when it comes to reincarnation…. one time I asked to be a singer and I spent 30 years as a sewing machine.

   If you don't like my sense of humor please tell me… so I can laugh at you!

   I used to be in a band called ‘Missing Cat'. You probably saw our posters.

   n't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

   My girlfriend always complains that I don't take her anywhere expensive.. So I took her to the Gas Station.

   Dear Dominos Pizza, gotta question. After I rate your food directly on the box do you review the results from my garbage can?

   I was gonna buy a copy of 'The Power of Positive Thinking', and then I thought, what good would that do?

   Health plans are like hospital gowns…You only think you're covered.

   Ya Know?!?......The number of ways I could care less...... is astounding!

   Cleavage is something you can look down on and approve of at the same time.

   Forget health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.