Destiny Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Some people say I'm a dreamer, others say, “If you fall asleep at work again we're going to have to let you go."
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:48 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon At this rate, the government should start up a fuel stamp program
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:47 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being able to read minds would be incredible...but constantly hearing about how sexy and great I am would probably get old
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:46 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man goes to the Doctors with an hearing problem. Dr. says "Can you describe the symptoms" - "Yea sure, Homer is fat and drinks beer and Marge has blue hair!"
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:44 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't wear skinny jeans unless you have skinny genes. And two X chromosomes, Thank You
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:43 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon I lost the bar trivia last night by one point. The last question was "where do women have the curliest hair?" Apparently the correct answer is , Fiji......
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:41 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon you correct my grammar, you better believe I will watch you like a hawk until I repay the favor
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:40 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon An Officer came to me and asked "Where were you between 4 and 6?" I responded "Kindergarten duhh."
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:39 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook should change it from 'Friends' to 'People I've made eye contact with
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:38 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Enrique Iglesias is far too pretty to be swearing in his songs. Its like being flipped off by a unicorn.
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:37 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dilemma: do I the wash dishes, or attempt to eat cornflakes from a cup with a knife?
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:36 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon you better get a condom for your heart cause i'm about to f*ck your feelings...
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:34 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon soo upset that I mixed up my voodoo dolls. If you feel any sharp, stabbing pains, please call me and describe the location. Thanks
←Rate | 04-03-2011 12:53 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?
←Rate | 04-03-2011 12:52 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon dear GPS, please add an, "avoid ghetto" option.
←Rate | 04-03-2011 12:48 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon if my start phone was so smart it wouldnt get freaked out and start shaking whenever it got a text message.
←Rate | 04-03-2011 12:48 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd mind my own business if yours wasn't so damn interesting
←Rate | 04-03-2011 12:46 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon God dont need a Dam, he can walk on water.
←Rate | 04-03-2011 12:46 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon My GPS says "Estimated Arrival Time" I see "Time to Beat"
←Rate | 04-03-2011 12:44 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas" The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found" Well played, ninjas, well played
←Rate | 04-03-2011 02:49 by Destiny Comments (0)  




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