ANGELA Funny Status Messages

   The Skort, skirt in the front, shorts in the back; it's like a mullet for your ass

   Thanksgiving, man! Not a good day to be my pants.

   ink I am gonna celebrate Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I'll invite everyone in my neighborhood to my house, have an enormous feast, and then kill them and take their land. Happy Thanksgiving CANADA!!

   When someone changes their relationship status to "It's complicated." it always means that they don't know which hand to use...

   thinks that time flies when you're having a drunken blackout.

   If she fu@ks like she complains, you're in for a treat!!

   What's the difference between a bottle and puberty?? .........A bottle has already hit Justin Bieber!!

   just kissed my man, stepped outside, closed my eyes, took a deep breath of fresh air, sipped my coffee, looked up, waved to neighbor, perfect morning! What could go wrong? Crap! forgot to put pants on!

   Going to look for the meaning of life, first place I'm gunna check is this bottle of vodka

   I'm not fat, I'm kidnap proof

   Ladies, pay attention ... sperm is made up of anger, stress, and anxiety ... best way to keep a man happy is to rid them of this negativity ... regularly!!!

   Wanna know why god invented the womens belly button? So you have a place to put your gum on the way down!

   says "Dyslexics are teople poo"

   Why do guys think more then girls, and why do girls talk more then guys? Because guys have two heads and girls have two sets of lips

   when the only thing you have is a hammer every moron resembles a nail

   apparently I'm not wearing a sweater vest but rather a "quilted wife beater" priceless

   Some of the ugliest faces in this world hide behind a 12 pack of beer

   CRAP.... look who's online..LOG OUT LOG OUT LOG OUT....."Hey whats up?..s***!!

   You can't turn a ho into a housewife unless you're playing Scrabble.

   My cellphone is mixing people up (surprise this would only happen to me) So if you get a picture of my left tit..apoligies in advance!!