@seddy90 Funny Status Messages

   in America, we will eventually have a President that used to play Pokemon as a child. Scary

   There once was a man named Hawking, who got bored of walking He got on a scooter, attached a computer, and now it does all of his talking

   i text one of my boss "Whats the difference between this morning and your daughter?".He says "I dont know" .I say "I'm not cuming in this morning

   Wonders if a cow from china would understand a cow from the US or do they moo different languages?

   Love: When you take a bubble bath together Lust: When you take a bath in Jell-o together Marriage: When you give the kids a bath

   The only reason he had a child is so that he can meet babysitters

   I've heard that the Eskimos have over 80 words to describe snow. Hell, they should get jobs in the Lipstick Color Naming Department at Revlon

   . Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men ... woman

   What is it with black guys randomly rehearsing an R&B/ rap lyric when walking down the street?

   What's the quickest way to lose 190 pound of ugly fat ? Divorce him

   In a world without walls and fences - who needs Windows and Gates?

   Why were the police ever issued with pepper sprays? Surely this will lead to the creation of more seasoned criminals.

   Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, lady, well, shame on Lionel Richie.

   One of our cats sits on the toilet lid and stares at the shower curtain while we take a shower. We're not sure if he's life-guarding or just amazed about how brave we are.

   When Facebook Isnt Working, Twitter goes over capacity, (and MySpace remains unused,) some Americans will finally meet their neigbors

   God's last name is not Dammit

   A freak can easily spot a freak even when proffesional business white collar attire

   If you got a problem with your woman dont go out and get another woman cause now you got 2 problems

   Anger is one letter short of danger.

   Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?